My founder identity
I'm trying to channel "Big Founder Energy"
It’s odd that there’s no official vetting process or verification for my new job title as co-founder of my startup, Practice. I basically woke up one day and declared it.
Well, not exactly. My co-founder, Ben, and I had spent hours brainstorming ideas and doing work before I officially called myself a founder.
We had slides! A (janky) prototype! Momentum, and signals of product-market fit! People had offered to write us (small) checks! And, most importantly, we had (and have) a deep belief that “there’s a there there” and the drive to make it happen.
I’m still figuring out how to “act like a founder,” though.
It’s a man’s world, but I thrive in it
Let me preface this by acknowledging that I come from a place of extreme privilege—I’m a cishet white woman with a post-graduate degree, so life has been easier for me than for many others. I’ve also been lucky that, when I have experienced bias or sexism, it hasn’t been too bad.
Tech is a male-dominated field, but I’ve held my own, climbed the ranks, and led in a way that’s authentic to me—with intentionality, passion, humility, inclusion, and empathy. These “soft skills” are definitely female-coded, but I only remember that “I’m not one of the boys” when someone says things like:
“Of course he prefers you as a manager. You’re softer with your employees than I am” (which was actually false 🙄; you can be empathetic and demanding)
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you really lead like a woman…in a good way!”
Yep, those are real comments I have received from colleagues.
After moving past the cringe, I honestly take these and comments like them as compliments—testaments to my ability to be both authentically me and an effective leader.
But I gotta say, this founder journey has been a bit of an eye-opener.
I’m not like other…founders
There are tons of articles, videos, accelerators, and resources for startup founders. I’m fortunate to have a deep network that’s filled with past and current founders, tech leaders, VCs, Y Combinator alumni, and other startup-adjacent folks. They’ve come out of the woodwork to offer advice, support, and excitement for what’s ahead. It’s been amazing and I am so grateful.
Still, at the end of the day, I’m a very excitable, passionate lady who has started a company that uses crafts to help spread joy. I make dollhouse miniatures for fun. Before I publish these Substack posts, I hit ⌘+F to check how many exclamation marks I’ve used and make sure it’s not a double-digit number (I got this one’s total down to 9).
Which is not how I’d describe the stereotypical founder. He’s a dude in a Patagonia vest or a t-shirt/blazer combo, who oversells and pitches shamelessly, all while being laser-focused on his big exit. He is sparing with his use of exclamation marks. See Exhibit A and B below:
Besides not matching that visual (minus the exposed ankle. I love a cropped jean!), the traits that have made me successful in my career—and the ones that feel authentic to me—don’t exactly align with the classic founder stereotype.
So yeah, I’m more aware of my gender than ever (again, privilege). It feels like I’m swimming in a sea of tech bros using testosterone to help VCs find the next unicorn. There’s plenty of advice about pitching B2B SaaS like a boss, but not much on how to make “hours of joy created” a respected success metric.
But a serial entrepreneur I respect gave me great advice: Your main job as a founder is to do the right thing, the honest thing, the moral thing. Don’t succumb to harmful stereotypes of what a founder should be. Sounds good to me!
Channeling my “Big Founder Energy”
Before an important presentation, my co-founder, Ben, gave me a pep talk after we did a run-through. “You’re being overly humble, saying ‘we hope’ and ‘we believe’ about things we know are true. Can you project more certainty?” He was so right. I told him, “Yes, I need to channel my Big Founder Energy.”
I think of Big Founder Energy (BFE 😉) as me channeling my natural tendencies and skills into the effortless confidence that I want to embody as a founder. I’m uncomfortable with the idea of trying hard to convince people (or myself) of something that’s overstated or untrue, but I’m all about being excited and realistic about an idea I believe in, in a contagious way. Which is pretty easy for me to do because Practice has so much potential. I have the skills, experience, conviction, and grit to make things happen. I’m beyond passionate about what we’re doing, and excited to learn and pivot. I am the right person, in partnership with Ben, to bring Practice to market and change the world for the better. We will help people make joy!
My BFE is a work in progress
At a recent housewarming party I was surrounded by people who were trying to enjoy some High Noons on a sunny afternoon in Oakland. The host introduced me to a group of strangers as “the founder of that craft startup I was telling you about.” They all turned to me, and I thought, gulp, here we go. I give myself a 2 out of 5 on that pitch.
I recounted the story to Ben on Slack, and he sent me this apropos image:
Even though my pitch was a bit rambling, I communicated my passion and excitement. And while some folks seemed ready to return to their seltzer sipping, I did get some head nods and even a “let me know when you’re hiring.” So, it wasn’t a total fail.
I know I’ll get more comfortable being my version of a founder.
But I’m not going to don a Patagonia vest and cosplay as a founder bro with skin-crawling bravado. I don’t need or want to flaunt it. I’ll just continue owning it and make sure I exude an authentic, effortlessly confident, founder vibe. I’ll lean on what’s made me successful elsewhere in my life—being me. Channeling my BFE will just take some practice ;)